Confessions of a lost boy

[Neal Cassidy]

EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS, HAPPENS BY DESIGN. AND THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.

Neal knew that the trip to Neverland had brought up old memories and old wounds of his past that he would rather not think about. It had also changed things between him and his father, he had begun to forgive his father, since he realised he had come back for him eventually. But, there was still some things that they had to talk about, if they were going to get past things for real.

Arriving back in his room at Granny's that day, Neal decided that it was now or never to talk to his papa. He wanted to be a family with him again, but, he had to make sure of some things first of all. Neal sat down on his bed, and, ran his hands over each other, before reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out his phone, dialling his papa's number, and, left a voicemail telling him that they had some stuff to talk about, and, asking him to come to his room when he got the message.

Lying down on his bed, Neal felt his eyes close as he drifted off. His dreams consisted of him on Neverland being tortured by Pan, and, his papa just standing there and watching, but, never doing anything, and, not helping him. Because he had made it clear he wasn't his choice.

About an hour passed, when he heard a knock on his door. Neal opened his eyes, and, sighed softly as he sat up, and, glanced into the peephole. Seeing his father on the other side of it, Neal knew that he must've gotten the message. Gently opening the door, Neal gave his papa a small smile. “Hey papa. Come in”

WORDS

N/A

TAGGED

Rumplestiltiskin

NOTES

Granny's B&B

template by Margie @ Adoxography 2.0

[Rumplestiltiskin]

Rumple was feeling exausted
This travel to the Neverland had forced him to revive his miserable childhood.
He was forced to remember how his father had abandon him... How he had abandon Baelfire.
Is there a way to erase all these lost year? 
He wondered if the other Dark Ones had to deal with this kind of issue.
Since Neal Cassidy have desapeared in the portal there was not even one day that Rumple have not regreated letting his child litteraly slip through his hands.
He would do his best to make his family whole. He could feel Belle's perfume and it relaxed him, he was about to sleep when he heard his cellphone?
Who would dare to call him at this hour?
If it was Regina or Swan begging for his help after unleashing a new kind of demon in the town...

- Bae!

He jumped out of the bed waking up Belle. after explaining to his wife and getting dressed, he was read to meet his son.
There he was. At Bae's door. How much time have passed since he was there staring that door? 5 minutes? 10? half an hour?
What if Bae called him just to say that he has no interest in forgiving his father? Or worse?
Rumple took a deep breath, he knew that being a coward is that reason that separeted him and Bae at the first place.
A second deep breath. That is fine. To be honest is not such a simple task to the Dark One, but everything would be fine as long he keep honest.
A third deep breath and Rumple finally could knock the door.
In no time there was Bar.

“Hey papa. Come in”

Rumple felt the urge of hugging his son. But he controled himself. It was not the time and it could scared the young man away.
He stand there without knowing exactly what to do.

- Bae! I'm so glad you called me. There's so much I must tell you... So much that I need to apologise for... I don't even know how to start...

[Neal Cassidy]

EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS, HAPPENS BY DESIGN. AND THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.

Sitting on his bed, Neal ran his fingers over the old scars on his wrist. Memories coming to his head from the London workhouses, and, Neverland. The place he'd once again escaped after voluntarily going back there to save his family. His sleep hadn't helped, but, it hadn't mattered, since his papa had woken him up with the knock on his door anyway.

He never actually expected his papa to come, or minded being called at that hour that he had been. Most people had reacted in a different way, yelling at him for waking them up, and, punishing him later on for it. A small smile grew on his lips, as he saw his papa standing there, before letting his papa inside his room.

Neal now realised that he was closer to having a family complete, which included his father now. He remembered all the times when he awoke from nightmares, hoping his father would be there for him. But, he never was. Neal, on some level just wanted to hug his father, like he had on the Jolly Roger, but, he wasn't sure he was ready for it just yet.

He was about to speak, but, his papa started to first. “I know papa. I'm kind of glad I called too. Well, while you figure it out. Why don't you let me say what I have to say, maybe in the moment you'll figure it out?”

WORDS

N/A

TAGGED

Rumplestiltiskin

NOTES

template by Margie @ Adoxography 2.0

[Rumplestiltiskin]

“I know papa. I'm kind of glad I called too. Well, while you figure it out. Why don't you let me say what I have to say, maybe in the moment you'll figure it out?”

- Of course, Bae... please... you can say whatever you must say to me.

Rumple was scared but at the same time he had hope that he would finally fix things up with his son. He waited centuries for this moment. He planned and moved montains just for him to have this moment and it was finally there.
Bae was safe, his grandson was safe, Pan was gone and now there was nothing standing in their way.
His heart was beating fast and his mouth was dry. After all the things he has done to so many people he wondered if he deserved this, but it doesn't matter. Things could be different from now on...

tag: Neal Cassidy

[Neal Cassidy]

EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS, HAPPENS BY DESIGN. AND THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.

“That's the point. I don't know if I can.”

Neal knew that things with his father might never exactly be perfect again, but, maybe now for once he could actually listen. He had spent his whole childhood wondering what he would do, and, what he would say when, or if he ever saw his father again. He had questioned everything in his head so many times, but, now the fact that he was getting the chance to do so was making things even worse. It made things harder.

He couldn't even use saving Henry as a distraction because his son was safe. And so was his father. Pan was captured, and, out of the way.

Neal fiddled with his hands nervously, as he just stood there thinking about where to start. “Papa, being back on that island, on Neverland. It got me thinking about what happened in my childhood. Growing up without you, and, all the pain I went through with the knowledge that you abandoned me.”

WORDS

N/A

TAGGED

Rumplestiltiskin

NOTES

template by Margie @ Adoxography 2.0

[Rumplestiltiskin]

“Papa, being back on that island, on Neverland. It got me thinking about what happened in my childhood. Growing up without you, and, all the pain I went through with the knowledge that you abandoned me.”

Rumple's eyes were teary.
- They may call your father a monster, a killer, a cruel beast... And they would be right, but still above all of that... I am a coward.
Do you remember when I had to kiss a boot in front of you? You have a son now... Just image how does it feel to be forced to do that in the front of your own son. With the Dark One power I was able to protect you. So when you opened that portal... I was afraid. Afraid of becoming that weak father that you used to have... I was so desperate about not being able to protect you... that I did exactly what my father did to me. There was not one day that I haven't regreat letting you go... As soon and you disappeared I regret what I did. I spent all this time since that day working with only one porpose:
Finding you.
I know that you don't approve my methods. I know that will never justify all that you had to face by your own.
But what I can assure you is that I am sorry, Bae... I am so... so sorry.


Rumple couldn't face his Bae. He was ashamed, hating himself for every wrong decision that he took since he became the Dark One.
He wondered if someday he would be able to fix at least a little of what he have done.

Neal Cassidy

[Neal Cassidy]

EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS, HAPPENS BY DESIGN. AND THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.

"Don't you get it papa? I never saw you as anything like that. Well, up until that moment when we were over that portal. You were just my father."

Yeah I remember papa. Well the difference is I wouldn't let someone make me do that. So, you were afraid of becoming the father I loved again? And abandoned me for it? Regretting it is one thing, actually doing something about it is another. You wouldn't have had to find me if you had just come with me in the first place.

"What I had to endure growing up was that I was no-one's choice or no-one's real kid anymore. I wasn't even special to anyone anymore"

"I wish that were enough this time papa."

Neal felt his eyes tearing up as he sat down on his bed at Granny's, resting his face in his hands. His whole life from the moment he was 14 had been lonely and he'd been nothing, but, a lost boy.

Maybe one day he and his papa could fix their relationship, which was why he called his papa anyway.

WORDS

N/A

TAGGED

Rumplestiltiskin

NOTES

template by Margie @ Adoxography 2.0

[Rumplestiltiskin]

Rumple watched his son covering his face with his hands. He approched him slowly and touched Bae in the shouder. He was afraid of the young man's reaction but yet he needed to take a chance.
For the first time in centuries Rumplestiltskin hugged his son.

- Son... You are right. What you had to suffer because of me. I know I've made unforgiveble mistakes I know that I was not the father I wanted to be. But please, please let me try to be this father now. I can prove I can be there for you... for my grandson... give one chance to be there for you and maybe some day you can finaly be able to forgive me.

[Neal Cassidy]

EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS, HAPPENS BY DESIGN. AND THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.

Neal kept his face resting in his hands, as he sat on his bed in the Bed and Breakfast. Feeling his papa's hand on his shoulder, Neal resisted the urge to nudge it off. Right now, he kind of needed to know his father was there, and, he didn't want that feeling to disappear. When his papa hugged him, Neal placed his face onto his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around him. After so long, Neal was finally hugging his papa again.

“There's so much you don't know papa. You were all the father I ever needed, before that dagger. I don't know if I want to risk giving you a chance again. I mean, after what happened the last time and everything, I don't know if I'm ready for that. After being a lost, unwanted little boy who didn't really matter for so long.”

WORDS

N/A

TAGGED

Rumplestiltiskin

NOTES

template by Margie @ Adoxography 2.0

[Rumplestiltiskin]

Bae was right to be so hesitant.
After all Rumplestiltskin IS the Dark One. Darkness is a part of his existence and no matter how he wanted to be the father that Bae deserved... would he be able to?
It doesn't matter, he would try, after all these years... this centuries... 

- Bae, I'm won't lie to you... I'm no longer that man who kills for no reason, but I'm still the Dark One I'm dealing with the darkness in my own way.
You don't need to be ready. I imagine that you will stay in Storybrooke, after all your son is here. We can try little by little. I won't let you down
Why don't we start with something nice? There's a woman, Belle, we're being dating... why don't we have lunch all together?

[Neal Cassidy]

No matter what Neal wanted to believe, his papa would always be the Dark One. But, what he wondered was would that man be his father again?

After these centuries, Neal only wanted his father back, even if he didn't know it growing up.

"I'm glad you're not lying to me papa. So you are dealing with it?

Yeah, I'm staying here for as long as Henry needs me around. Trying sounds great to me. I need to be sure of that.

Lunch sounds nice papa."

Rumplestiltiskin