Post by Grace Hatter on Mar 19, 2015 15:48:04 GMT
 Acting. Playing a role. Being an actor meant giving yourself over to your character, body and soul. Your old identity melted away and you took on a new existence, a new self. Everything you were, everything you loved, everything you hated, everything you feared, everything you wished for was given up, exchanged for the fervent dreams and whims, affections and terrors, detestations and revulsions of your character. You breathed life into them. What was once words on paper, you took and twisted them into a real person, one everyone could see but only you could truly understand. Because you were the one inside their head. You were the one they’d been waiting for all this time. Without you, they were just lines in a book, intangible, unfeeling. You were the one who could channel those raw emotions, express their very being, their nature! But to do that, to let them live and play their part, fulfill their role, the you as you knew yourself had to die. Not permanently. But you had to forget who you were, all your strengths and weaknesses pushed aside until they were buried so far beneath your character’s persona you couldn’t feel them, couldn’t get at them, didn’t even realize they were there. In the end, it wasn’t the lines that were important but the emotions woven deep within. Words weren’t even necessary. A single gesture could convey a person’s heart. Memorization was good. But in the end if you understood your character, you didn’t need it. Because then you knew what this new life would say, how she’d respond. Connecting with her heart was what mattered. Understand what she cared about, understand what she was terrified of, understand what she yearned for and the rest would follow. For Grace, lines were the last step. What an actor needed was to bound her own heart to her character’s. Before you could become, you had to sympathize, you had to appreciate, you had to recognize their faults and flaws and still think you’re someone I love, you’re someone I want to do justice to. Let me be you. Let me show everyone who you really are. Grace wasn’t sure why she loved acting so much. Was it because deep down she was an insecure person who longed to forget who she was even for an instant, throw away her sins and mistakes and take on someone else’s? Was it because acting fed into her love of stories and nurtured her imagination? Or was it because it was a good exercise in empathy and getting inside someone else’s head fictional or otherwise, helped her understand the secret pains others could carry deep inside them everyday, the ones that could tear apart their hearts even as they waved and smiled so cheerfully? She didn’t know. But it was a compulsion. She was drawn to it; and, it was something she had to do. Papa thought joining the theater club was a choice. Technically it was. But all the same, it wasn’t. It cried out to her trembling soul. And now...She was worried. The play they’d chosen was Alice in Wonderland. She hadn’t said anything to Papa yet. She thought there would be no point if she didn’t get a part. But in the end, she’d been selected as Alice. So now she had to talk to him. She was thrilled not simply because Alice was the main role but because being her for a moment..Well that would be fulfilling Paige’s deepest wish. Paige had been drawn to the hatter in Alice in Wonderland without understanding why. And everyday Paige had thought..Oh if only I could be Alice and meet him. And as much pain as Grace had endured as Paige, she was still grateful to her. The Paige sleeping inside her had taught her much. And sometimes...Grace could manage to tug on that strength, pull it out for her to use. There were things Paige had that Grace didn’t. But she tried to remember and borrow them when they were necessary. So..This was for her. In some way, she could grant her wish. She wanted to do that for her, for all she’d suffered because she'd noticed and she'd felt as much as it didn’t make sense. She’d feared she was losing her mind and still she held herself together somehow, clutching at straws, trying to discover the truth of things. She hadn’t shied away from the questions that ripped her brain apart and caused her heart to ache. She had to know. Grace admired her for that. She wondered if she herself was so brave when she had things she was scared to ask Papa. Paige had struggled the whole 28 cursed years. She deserved some reward, some peace for all her efforts. And this was the answer. Grace would give her Alice. Grace didn’t know if Papa would understand. But she wanted him to! More than anything, she wanted him to come and see her be Alice! But she didn’t want to hurt him. So...Now it was time to talk. “Papa,” she called out as she slipped inside the house they shared, their home. “Papa are you here? There’s something I want to tell you. Do you have a minute?” tag: --- notes: --- |
TEMPLATE BY ELIZA
