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Setting: Second Season before Emma and Snow return after Henry tried to break in her vault

Regina was sitting in Henry's old room, head down on the pillow sobbing. How many years had it been since she'd allowed herself to truly cry? She'd faked it for years and years. But she thought the last time she'd genuinely cried was that night when the wizard Victor had told her that the operation failed and Daniel could not be resurrected. It was then that she finally accepted that Daniel was gone forever, beyond her reach. Up until then she'd harbored hopes that he could be restored. But true love's kiss hadn't been strong enough. Rumple said such magic was impossible. "Dead is dead," he'd so eloquently put it. And her one last hope, the wizard Cictor who hailed from a new world and had access to magic that wasn't possible in her own, couldn't restore him. That was it. She'd known there was nothing left. No more dreams. No more chances. That was when her heart had truly hardened.

She felt like she'd lost someone all over again. It was an accident! She hadn't meant for Emma and Snow to get sucked into the hat! It had all gone wrong. But who would believe her after everything she'd done? No one understood her reasons. No one cared to find out. To everyone Snow White and Prince Charming were pure good and she was nothing more than an evil queen who had lost her power once the curse was broken. Although now magic was restored. So she still had something. And people were scared of her again. Why were people always sacred of her? No one was capable of loving her.

But she only had herself to blame for that. How could she act like her mother after everything? Even Rumple had said she looked like her when all those years ago he'd been the only one to say "I don't see it". She knew how terrible it felt to have magic used to imprison you, keep you somewhere your heart didn't belong. And yet she'd cast a barrier spell on Henry, her son! That was the last straw. She realized he needed to leave. She didn't want him to stay here because he was a prisoner. But that was it. She'd lost him for good. He blamed her for Snow's and Emma's disappearance. He wouldn't forgive her unless she got them back and she had no idea how to go about doing that. The hat was out of magic and magic was weird here after whatever Rumple had done. She didn't have a firm grasp of it yet.

The doorbell rang and Regina tensed. The only people who came to visit her were those who harbored grudges and were feeling particularly brave or suicidal. She didn't need this right now! She couldn't take it on top of the loss with Henry! But no...She wasn't so weak as to hide away.

She hurriedly dried her eyes but she knew they would still be red. Well there was nothing she could do about that now. She wouldn't let anyone call her a coward. That was Rumple's burden. It had never been hers.

"Coming," she called out. She walked down the steps and reluctantly opened the door. She froze where she stood. "Henry?!" she asked uncertainly. Was this real?! Had he really come to see her?! "What are you doing here?" she questioned. She wanted to scoop him up in a gigantic hug and never let go but she figured that would be a very bad move. He was still upset with her and she figured if there would be physical interaction it would be best if he started it.

Regina had heard of this new project Jefferson had gotten himself into for his daughter’s sake. The name was...Interesting. Not necessarily bad. The spelling was wrong. But then a shop called Tea Time spelled correctly was just boring. Tea Tyme was...intriguing at least she supposed. And no she wasn’t being petty. Yes...She was a touch envious. Jefferson and her had...It was a marvel really. After everything they’d been through, all the betrayals and heartbreak, they’d slowly managed to patch things up. The incident with mother framing her had been the trigger ironically enough. The thing that had been meant to destroy her hope, shatter her heart and spirit had been the foundation of her amends with him. In her desperation, she’d run to him as she always did. And in her weak and fragile state, she’d laid her heart bare, expressed all those feelings, everything she’d been holding back and hiding from him for so long. Without Mother’s intervention, Regina very much doubted she’d have had the nerve to pay him a visit, not after the hospital, not after she’d told him quite clearly she was done with him as much as she could never mean that.

That didn’t stop her from being a tad jealous though. He was so close to his daughter. And they even lived together. Although things were going well with Jefferson, the same could not quite be said about her son Henry. Henry was thrilled to learn that Regina hadn’t killed Archie. But Mother...had certainly complicated things. Henry was willing to see Regina...occasionally. But now he lived with Emma. She barely got to see him, her son! This Tea Tyme thing drove home that point that while Grace was the center of Jefferson’s world, the light of his life, his support...Henry could not be that same force for Regina. She wasn’t even entirely certain Henry thought redemption was possible for her. But she should try to cheer up! She didn’t want to bring Jefferson down with her gloomy mood. She was here to offer encouragement, ideally be his first customer and well..If she was perfectly honest, she just really wanted to see him.

Bells chimed as Regina stepped inside, her lips curling into a smile when she laid her eyes on Jefferson. “Is it too early to buy some tea?” she asked, tone teasing.

Well...This was certainly a day of surprises. Regina had been through so much she should be worn out, beyond exhausted. She’d been tortured just a few hours back. She...really didn’t want to think about it. Someone like her was used to pain of course and lots of it. But...That sort of physical torment...That was new. That high voltage did a number on her for sure. She’d barely survived. But she knew the truth of it...She was only alive because Snow White had decided to rescue her of all people. She wasn’t sure how to feel about that. She didn’t like being in people’s debt to begin with. And Snow White...Well, they had a very complicated history for sure.

Snow no doubt felt the rescue was necessary to try and make amends for Regina’s mother. The naive little fool still felt guilty about it. She shouldn’t. Did Regina miss her?...As much as Mother had been a monster, as much as she’d made Regina’s life miserable, as much as she shouldn’t, as much as it made no sense...Yes. She’d actually been sad at her passing, much more so than she ever would have believed possible. Why should she mourn a woman who had caused her such grief, who’d magically abused Regina to make her act as she wished, who’d ripped out her true love’s heart while she watched powerless to do anything, who’d abducted her father, who’d turned the whole town of Storybrooke against her, crushing her spirit? But...Well..She was her mother. Regina supposed some particularly tainted and twisted part of her heart had no choice but to love her. Or...Maybe the answer was slightly more rational than that. Maybe what filled her eyes with tears, her heart with sorrow, wasn’t the loss of what had been but the loss of what might have been. So long as Mother breathed, as terrifying as her existence was, there was some slim chance of reparations. It was...theoretically possible to make amends, for Mother to show that she truly loved and accepted Regina as the woman she was. Now who was sounding hopelessly naive and optimistic? Regina had clearly been spending too much time around Snow.

Well in any case, Snow had saved her. But one near death experience just wasn’t enough for this lovely day she’d been having. That detonation device had been an awful idea. It had never been her first choice, just there as a precaution, a last resort. But well...Owen and Tamra had snatched that and then activated it....Regina had been determined to die a hero’s death to save her son, to solidify her redemption. She was sick and tired of being a villain, a miserable Evil Queen who never got what she truly wanted and didn’t even dare to think about what she was missing, love. Rumple had been right. She couldn’t have everything. He’d tried to warn her when he paid his respects to Mother. “We both know killing her will cost you the thing you want most, Henry. Why don’t you just give up this obsession with vengeance? You know it can never make you happy. You had a whole curse worth of vengeance and what did it get you? A gaping hole in your heart. Still haven’t learned your lesson have you?”

“What lesson?” she'd asked, frustrated upset.
“The same one your mother learned a long time ago. You can’t have everything. She wanted power, ripped out her own heart to get it. You want vengeance? Henry’s the price you’ll pay. Time to cut your losses.”

He’d looked so disappointed at her “never”. And...Had there even be a touch of pity in his eyes? Rumple was a difficult man to read. But despite their...rather interesting history involving screwing each other over several times...Rumple was the one who always gave her choices and good advice when she’d listen. In his own way, he seemed to look out for her and care. That was why she’d always seen him as something like a second father figure. Unlike her own father, he did guide her and was willing to protect her. He gave her real options and dared to ask what she wanted! And unlike Mother, as strict and harsh as he could be with her lessons, he’d always praised her when he felt she’d done well. He was...Tough for sure. But more nurturing than her real family ever had ever been, as twisted as that sounded.

So why? Why didn’t she listen? She could tell he was being sincere there. She could rarely figure out exactly what he wanted. But she did know him well enough to get when he wanted or needed something for her and was using her to that effect. She knew he wanted the Dark Curse as much if not more than she did. But she’d made the mistake of assuming that if that particular deal wasn’t better for her than him, that at least she was getting as much out of it as he was. That was always a terrible assumption. Every time...Rumple bested her when it came to deals. Well..Perhaps that wasn’t quite true. He had taught her some valuable lessons. He was always there to instruct her even if the process was a bit..heart wrenching. Yes, he was like a second father. The only one she had living.

Rumple’s pressing questions were always so poignant; but, they made her come to grip with certain things, precious important things. But maybe she was a slow learner at least emotionally. She’d lose her temper; and, it could take a while for his questions to hit home, for her to face them. And now was that time again.

He’d been right. She’d clung to vengeance rather than love. And because of that Henry had been abducted. It was her fault! The detonation device had provided that opportunity. But she understood now! She was done with revenge! She just wanted her son back! Henry was the only thing that mattered! And now with Snow, Charming, Emma, Hook, Rumple, and her all working together, nothing would stand in the way of Regina getting Henry back!

Regina would feel...a little better if Jefferson were here with her. She’d never come to Neverland without him before. But...She knew it was safer for him to be back home. When he’d been a portal jumper, he’d had an understanding with Peter Pan. And yes...Peter Pan was frightening and formidable. She’d never opposed him staying close to Jefferson; but, she clearly understood that fact. His power was something to fear. And..He was dangerously whimsical. Not to mention clever and cunning and just..nasty! She’d fought to keep herself from shivering the first time she’d stared into his eyes. There wasn’t a trace of empathy anywhere.  It was like gazing into the abyss. All she’d wanted to do was hide behind Jefferson. Of course she hadn’t! She’d hid her terror and stood there with dignity as a queen should! But yes...She really wasn’t pleased to be coming back here! Even Rumple had looked anxious for a split second when they'd learned Henry’s whereabouts. But well...At least he was with them. The only one who cold rival Regina’s power was him. Together, surely they could put a stop to Pan’s mad scheme.

Now Hook was showing her to her quarters. Some space, to both rest and think, to recover would do her good. She was surprised at the smile that played across his lips when he lead her into her room. Had someone else stayed here before? Well that was as stupid question. She was sure they had. But someone he liked? Who could make him smile like that? Well that was a discussion not for now. They had more important matters to contend with.

He explained about blankets and water; and, Regina couldn’t care less. Henry was the priority. That’s why the two of them had to talk. She had to make sure their head was in the same place.

“A moment of your time,” she replied when he asked if there was anything else she required. They had to discuss what happened. She’d used as him as bait. He’d sealed away her magic and left her with the two psychopaths that nearly electrocuted her to death. But in Hook’s defense, he refused to help torture her. He’d left. He hadn’t even carried the device over. She was grateful for that as much as he hadn’t lifted a finger to assist her. And now...There was too much at stake for grudges of any kind. She was willing to offer a clean slate if he was. At the very least, they needed to temporarily set aside their differences.

“Can we talk?”

Hook’s smile gave her courage to continue along the lines of her conclusion. As impossible as it sounded, Hook and Emma had traveled back in time. The spell had worked; and, one of the crucial ingredients was the strongest heart. And Zelena hadn’t taken just any heart. She’d been hell bent on Regina’s. No other heart would do! Regina wasn’t wrong! She was the type of person who could always piece the broken shards of her heart back together after it shattered. No, it was never the same. Cruel experiences left scars and burns. But she was still an emotional creature, someone who felt things very deeply. She wasn’t as gentle or kind as she’d once been. But she wasn’t a monster either! She was no longer a villain!

Regina smiled slightly as his nod of approval, taking heart from his resilient comment. Yes, people like them were resilient and adaptable because they had to be. They understood the world was merciless and vicious. To survive both physically and emotionally they needed that very special quality in abundance. She couldn’t help but wonder if Hook was more resilient than even her. He did have centuries on her. He’d know Rumple when he was human. So he was only slightly younger than Rumple. Based on physical appearances, she’d guess he was 20 years younger tops. And according to Peter Pan, Rumple was around three centuries old! And she’d trust that Peter Pan knew what he was talking about as he was Rumple’s father or rather...had been before his son had killed him. Talk about screwed up family dynamics. Not like she was one to talk. She’d sent Hook to murder her mother. And then Mother had turned the tables and convinced Hook to side with her. The only reason Regina was still alive was because she’d chosen the rights words to say over what she assumed was Mother’s corpse. Apparently, even heartless, Mother had felt something for her. Although that didn’t change the fact that Mother had been a monster, someone who’d never loved or appreciated what Regina was and made her childhood and early adult life miserable.  And then she'd come back to set the whole town against Regina when she was trying so hard to change...

Yeah...She was not getting into the who had a more screwed up family line of thought. That would not make this night any easier to swallow.

She chuckled. “True,” she replied when he insisted that everyone was entitled to their feelings. “But I’m sure you don’t need to hear me whine. Your night couldn’t have been easy either, traveling back in time and all,” she teased. She was making light of the situation; but, her words were never-the-less sincere. She could only imagine how frightening it must have been for Hook to have suddenly found himself back before Emma was born with no idea of how to return home. And then there was all the stress about wrecking the time stream. Yes..It certainly wasn’t wise to bring Marion back. But she was sure Hook had tried his best. She wasn’t quite willing to give Emma the benefit of the doubt. The wounds were too fresh. But Regina was more willing to forgive Hook because of their shared history and because Marion had been Emma’s idiotic idea even if Hook had gone along with it.

“Sometimes understanding is enough,” she said softly. Comprehension alone couldn’t change anything. She knew that. But in a world where most assumed the absolute worst of her, it was nice to feel that there was at least one person who understood her pain and so was at least more sympathetic towards her than the rest.

A small smile graced her lips at Hook’s “long live Regina”. Now that’s what she wanted more than anything, for people to see her as Regina not the Evil Queen. When she’d been planning to sacrifice herself to save Storybrooke, the town she’d crafted with her magic and ruled over as mayor, she’d told Emma to let her die as Regina. At her core..Regina was a good person, wasn’t she? She’d been that way once upon a time. And that lonely girl..she still existed inside Regina’s heart! She knew it! She just..had to try harder to hear her. But balance her! Now she had experience and could temper the naivety and optimism with healthy doses of reality and skepticism! As loathe as Regina was to admit it, once she’d been almost as naive and optimistic as Snow.

“A drink sounds fantastic!” she answered, giving more a wry than happy smile. She was doing better; but, she could definitely use something to help take the edge off this hellish night. Upset feelings didn’t evaporate at the drop of a hat.  Well then...She supposed that depended on which hat.  There'd been a certain one that could always brighten her day with its special skill.  But now that hat was gone.  Damn Charming.  That was his fault.  Well technically George had burned it; but, as Regina liked George, she'd rather blame Charming.  And Geroge had only done it to get at Charming. And as Regina was having one horrific night...She'd damn well blame whoever pleased her in her head!

Jefferson’s smile was adorable! Regina wasn’t exactly sure if guys liked being told they were adorable. She expected most wouldn’t. They’d probably want to be described as something..more masculine and tough..Or something. But she couldn’t help herself! Jefferson’s smile right there..It was absolutely adorable! Just looking at it sent her heart fluttering! She wished she could stare at it forever and ever. But she was lucky just to have this special moment between the two of them. She’d content herself with that. Even after Leopold had done...What he’d done....Jefferson always found some way to set her mind at ease just by being himself. He was that sort of amazing person, different and unique. So maybe someone special like him wouldn’t mind being thought of as adorable. But she still wasn’t going to say it! It was more than enough, having him by her side.

The two of them were quite a pair. Leopold kept Regina under lock and key most of the time. And then Jefferson’s work kept him busy. Sometimes he was gone for months. Between the two of them, it was difficult to scrounge up a meeting time. Although the place was always predictable. Where else could it be but the palace, Regina’s gilded cage? She was only ever allowed to venture out if there was some formal event and then only with a royal escort. Typically Leopold would be there but not always. He did do a great deal of traveling with his daughter Snow. And so sometimes Regina had to take care of things while he was gone by herself. But she still didn’t have any choice. Leopold had planned everything from what she would wear to where she would go. Although technically the servants were the ones who picked her dresses, he’d selected those in charge of such decisions himself, to make sure Regina always suited his taste.

Even when he was gone, he left behind strict schedules to detail Regina’s movements. Although she should be in charge when he was away, she was just as trapped as ever. Guards and servants saw to it that the king’s wishes were always carried out. It was easier to sneak around when there was no king to report back to, it was true. And she got a much needed break from her conjugal visits. But besides those few comforts, her life was much the same.

She supposed the one good thing about Jefferson’s busy life was that he could appreciate Regina’s restrictions. Just as his schedule wasn’t entirely his to command but his clients’, she had the king and his army of servants to cater to. And somehow the two of them made it work because their love was strong, the strongest! Leopold cared nothing for Regina’s heart but Jefferson did! He mended it each and every time the king chipped a piece away, cracking it. He was there for her! She’d been sincere! For Jefferson she’d wait forever! Just knowing that he wanted her and would come for her, gave her enough hope to get through the day however miserable. He was the reason she could stumble out of bed in the morning, take that painful first step. Each second that passed brought her closer to his next visit. That’s what she believed. That’s how she lived. Her heart would shatter without that unspoken promise. She refused to contemplate his death. If she lost him...There’d be nothing left. That’s why however powerless her prayers, her fervent hopes were, she always had to say “be safe” before parting. Nothing was more important than his welfare.

Regina chuckled when Jefferson said even forever might not be enough for their love. “Then what would be?!” she asked with levity. “Eternity? Infinity?” But those were just synonyms. Forever..Could a human even wrap their mind around such abstract concepts? Could those who were finite, frail, and fleeting truly comprehend eternity?

When Jefferson told her this was more comfortable she snuggled closer, grin widening. Nothing was as precious as Jefferson’s touch except maybe his smiles! She loved it all, every part of him, everything he was and everything he brought!

Regina beamed at his “And I you”, heart beating furiously in her chest. She reached for Jefferson’s hand and laid it over her heart. “It always beats so fast for you, Jefferson! So please...Please take good care of it!” There was no doubt in her voice. She knew he would. But after everything Leopold put her through, it was nice to hear the words.

He tenderly kissed her forehead; and, she just smiled sweetly up at him, savoring this closeness.

Regina chuckled when he said he didn’t know what it meant to be queen, taking a leaf from his book, trying to tease rather than get depressed. She loathed the word queen now. She held no real power. The title was a death sentence, chaining her to this palace indefinitely. But Jefferson was here; and, he always worked so hard to raise her spirits! She wouldn’t make his task any more difficult!

“It means wearing extravagant dresses that cost more than a house!” Really...She could only imagine how many people could be fed if she’d sell even half her gowns! If it were up to her, she’d put the funds to better use. There were orphan children who suffered and old men and women who couldn’t even afford gruel. She didn’t know much about it or how to help them having been sheltered all her life...But she knew she did want to assist them, give the kingdom not only what it needed but what it deserved! But alas...She had no power, no influence. Leopold controlled everything even her, maybe especially her.

“If you’d like I can slip you into one so you could get the idea!” she teased. She chuckled trying to picture Jefferson in a fancy dress. "I can even brush your hair!" Okay! She was having way too much fun envisioning that! She had a mini giggle fit.

She nodded her head in fervent agreement when he said his work played a part. She adored it because it was magical, amazing, adventurous, and simply magnificent. But even if was the most dull, humdrum job in the world, she’d love it all the same because it brought them together. Regina might be miserable most of the time now; but, if things weren’t the way they were, she’d never have met Jefferson. And she wouldn’t give up her love for anything!

Regina laughed at the mention of Rumplestiltskin playing matchmaker. “He’s like a scaly fairy godmother!” There was more truth to that than the words implied. He’d given Regina her first real choice in her entire life. He was the one to ask what she wanted. So far...Things hadn’t ended well. But he’d given her a chance! And with his magic lessons and Jefferson’s visits..Surely things would get better eventually!

“Jefferson please...Tell me you love me!” she begged with sweet innocence. Words had power; and, to Regina, no one’s words held more power than Jefferson’s. And right now, she really needed to hear him say it. If he did, she wouldn’t doubt. She’d know things would get better with him here by her side supporting her as best he could.

Hook deepened the kiss and Regina slipped her tongue inside his mouth, quickly entangling his own in hers. She hadn’t realized just how hungry she was, how big an appetite she had until just now, with them connected in such an intimate way. But now her lust was growing! This closeness didn’t alleviate it but rather intensified the whole experience. She wanted him. Regina wouldn’t be satisfied by a kiss no matter how passionate. She wished to feel this pirate inside of her.

Soon the tables were turned so to speak and she was the one roughly repositioned so that she was seated on the edge of the table. Not like she minded. She was no frail little flower, no flake of snow. She appreciated a man with vigor and bite. She had a domineering personality and so did this man. It would be interesting to see how they both meshed and clashed. It was quite possible to have two controlling partners in this sort of dance. One would be more aggressive at moments and then the power would shift. So it was like a battle as well as a dance. And she enjoyed the challenge. If something was simple to obtain, it was hardly worth getting in the first place. She rather relished a rough exchange, a play for dominance. Timid and submissive types bored her, couldn’t sate her deep thirst.

The captain quickly lowered his hook to tear through the center of her dress, exposing her legs. She had no issues with this development. She cared little for riches. Most of her spending, funds not devoted to the kingdom but to personal use, went towards her lavish wardrobe. She could buy another dress. And as for legs, she certainly wasn’t ashamed of them. She had an impressive figure and knew it.

She shivered a bit as Hook caressed her upper thigh, slipping her hands underneath his shirt, touch light and teasing as she traced circles near his nipples, never quite letting her fingers stray that far.